From Being Unable to Walk, to Walking Down the Aisle

If you told me a few years ago that I would be planning my wedding in 2024 to marry the love of my life, I would not have believed it. Four years ago, when I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer (mBC), I was so sick and in so much pain that I could not even walk. 

My partner, Taylor, and I were dating before I was diagnosed with cancer. I was so lucky to have her by my side for several doctors’ appointments where they could not find answers to my symptoms. She understood the frustrations and never gave up on trying to help figure out what was going on with my health. 

One night, my pain was so intense Taylor drove me to the emergency room, where I was admitted. After multiple body scans, I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer (mBC). Without any hesitation, the first thing that Taylor said to me was that we were in this together. I tried to tell her that she didn’t have to take on this battle with me, but she didn’t even let me finish my sentence. She assured me that she was exactly where she wanted to be. Right next to me for the rest of her life. 

I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for my partner. At the beginning of my treatment, I was unable to walk due to the cancer on my spine. Every morning, Taylor helped me get out of bed and try my best to take on the day. She encouraged me, physically and mentally, to never give up. 

Over time, I became stronger and was able to walk again on my own. Now, I am getting ready to walk down the aisle and marry the love of my life. This is something I wouldn't have been able to accomplish without Taylor, and I am thankful for her every single day. 

My mBC diagnosis has impacted preparing for our wedding in a huge way. It is common for many people to get stressed when wedding planning; having mBC adds another whole level to it. However, it made Taylor and I realize that we didn’t want to spend time getting overwhelmed or overthinking every little detail. Time is precious, especially for someone living with mBC, and we wanted to enjoy every moment of the planning process, as best as we could. 

When Taylor and I were looking at venues, one of the venues in Atlanta immediately stuck out to us. In a conversation with the booking manager, I learned that her mom, who also has mBC, follows my mBC journey online. It was an honor to hear about how I was helping her mom get through her own diagnosis by sharing my experiences – and it felt like a sign that the venue was for us. 

Throughout the planning process, I continued to have multiple chemo weeks and scan days. On those days, Taylor and I had calm nights at home; we would make a healthy dinner and try to relax. I have found that having a partner who has the same values in life to be incredibly helpful during both wedding planning and just overall in my mBC journey. It has helped us always keep the end goal in sight. No matter what is going on around us, I know that we are on the same team. 

My loved ones have been so supportive and helped make the process as stress-free as possible. My family was with us every step of the way, constantly asking how they could help and jumping in wherever we needed a hand. With my mBC, there have been times during the process where I needed to focus on my health, and my friends and family have been there to assure me that they would help get everything taken care of. 

Planning any big event while living with an mBC diagnosis can be stressful. My advice for anyone who is in a similar situation is this: 

• Ask for help! Don't be shy. If you have mBC and are getting married or preparing for an event, I recommend asking your family and friends to help with tasks that take up your energy. It is likely that they want to help, and you will feel so much better leaning on others during times that you need to focus on your health.
  
   
• Listen to your body. Take breaks when you need it. When you are feeling drained physically (or mentally!), either find a small task to complete or give yourself time to recover.  You will complete more when well rested and feeling your best. 
  
   
• Communicate clearly with your loved ones. It’s important that your partner, family and friends know what is the most important to you and that you feel supported. Keeping an open line of communication with your support team will help your event go smoothly! 
  
   
• Have FUN! A wedding is such a special day and celebration, don't forget to have fun with your partner and loved ones.

So much has changed since being diagnosed with mBC, and I am thankful for the change. mBC has given me a different outlook on life. Taylor and I have made it through so many challenges, the easiest thing we will do this year is get married to each other and continue to grow our love. 

I’ve dreamt of this day for a long time, and mBC can't stop me from striving to live my life fully. If anything, mBC has taught me how important and special these moments are. I will cherish this year of planning my wedding, and my marriage, forever.